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February 4th, 2009


08:10 pm - Friendship?!
What do they say about friendship?
It's far more tragic than love, because it lasts longer. I guess Oscar Wilde was quite right with this finding.

I guess I am about to lose a friend, and it really sucks. Although we haven't known each other for a very long time. But we got closer during my darkest hour and we have been close friends ever since then.

But then something started to change, I don't know what it was and why it was happening.

I guess it's because she is about 10 years my junior and I do think in certain aspects this age gap does take its toll. Well... okay, maybe that's a little too pathetic. You know what I mean.
Then again she's 24, two years ago she got married to her first real boyfriend she met when she was 17. She moved from her parents' home and in with her boyfriend. She doesn't have a clue how it feels to be... well... alone, on her own. I guess I have a word or two to say about that. I know it doesn't take a disaster or some tragedy to know and to appreciate life. But I think she has some sort of greenness ( I have to admit, I looked that up in the dictionary. We have a similar term in German ;-) ) for some aspects of life that started to make me go crazy at times. But I never showed her. Maybe I should have.
Of course it wasn't all bad! Otherwise it wouldn't hurt so much now, as this friendship is coming to an end. She was there for me when my fiancé suddenly passed away last year, she helped me through tough times, she introduced me to western riding. We had a lot of fun!

I don't know what got into her, but she started to change. And she wouldn't talk to me. I tried my best. But at some point I don't want to  run after her at any price.

Well, it's tragic, isn't it?! Thankfully I found out that there are still some people left that I can count on. But still... no happy ending :-(
Current Mood: [mood icon] rejected

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August 12th, 2008


08:41 pm - Unworthy
Feeling like a bunch of shit
Sitting beside you
Not being able to touch you
Or just talk to you
Like nothing had happened

But then nothing really happened, did it?!
Just those little words
I don't dare to write them down
'Cause that would make it real
I know it's real

I wish I could stop it
Just hit a button
And it would end
Like nothing had happened
And the world would start turning again

"I told you"
Words I don't want to hear
'Cause they hurt
And they don't change a thing
Don't change the way I feel

Here without you
Can't make you love me
I'm a butterfly when I'm in your hands
You can turn the pavement into white sand
You can make a moment a memory in a glance
Not my words

There's a million people underneath the sun
That can find a million more
And never find the one
Guess I'm one in a million
Current Location: at home
Current Mood: [mood icon] crushed
Current Music: River - Robert Downey Jr.
Tags:

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January 29th, 2008


09:25 pm - Wyoming Sequel pt. 1
Language: German
Pairing: Ennis / Jack
Genre: AU
Summary: Taking place a few years after their decision to buy a ranch (take a look at my first story "Wyoming - Another time, another place"). Ennis and Jack are the proud owners of a ranch. Now they have to deal with the struggles of being fathers.
Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this.
Warning: I still don't know where all of this is leading... I wrote it a while back. Hope you like it.


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08:39 pm - Feeling Brokeback.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,

For nothing now can ever come to any good.


 

W.H. Auden


Current Mood: [mood icon] melancholy

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September 9th, 2007


09:24 pm - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 6

Language: German
Pairing: Ennis / Jack
Rating: none (so far)
Genre: AU
Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all.
Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this.
Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -)
Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it).
Feedback: yes, please!

The final chapter!


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September 7th, 2007


06:54 pm - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 5

Language: German
Pairing: Ennis / Jack
Rating: none (so far)
Genre: AU
Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all.
Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this.
Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -)
Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it).
Feedback: yes, please!



Current Mood: [mood icon] blah

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10:52 am - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 4

Language: German
Pairing: Ennis / Jack
Rating: none (so far)
Genre: AU
Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all.
Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this.
Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -)
Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it).
Feedback: yes, please!



(Leave a comment)

10:49 am - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 3
Language: German
Pairing: Ennis / Jack
Rating: none (so far)
Genre: AU
Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all.
Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this.
Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -)
Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it).
Feedback: If you want me to continue ;)


(Leave a comment)

10:47 am - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 2
Language: German
Pairing: Ennis / Jack
Rating: none (so far)
Genre: AU
Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all.
Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this.
Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -)
Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it).
Feedback: If you want me to continue ;)


(Leave a comment)

September 2nd, 2007


11:52 pm - WYOMING – Another time, another place
Language: German
Pairing: Ennis / Jack
Rating: none (so far)
Genre: AU
Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all.
Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this.
Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -)
Feedback: If you want me to continue ;)

Emma war gerade mit dem Streichen des Türrahmens in der Küche fertig, der beim Einzug vor einer Woche etwas in Mitleidenschaft gezogen worden war. Sie trat einige Schritte zurück, um ihr Werk zu bewundern. Perfekt. Eierschalenfarben. Wie neu. Sie lächelte zufrieden. Sie hatte sich zu dieser doch eher ungeliebten Arbeit entschlossen, da sie diesmal ein nahezu perfektes Zuhause haben wollte. Sie wollte sich nicht in ein paar Jahren immer noch über die Macke im Rahmen ärgern. Neue Stadt, neues Haus. Neues Leben? Ja, vielleicht auch das.


Current Location: desk at home
Current Mood: [mood icon] groggy
Current Music: Je t'aime... moi non plus

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