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February 4th, 2009
08:10 pm - Friendship?! What do they say about friendship? It's far more tragic than love, because it lasts longer. I guess Oscar Wilde was quite right with this finding.
I guess I am about to lose a friend, and it really sucks. Although we haven't known each other for a very long time. But we got closer during my darkest hour and we have been close friends ever since then.
But then something started to change, I don't know what it was and why it was happening.
I guess it's because she is about 10 years my junior and I do think in certain aspects this age gap does take its toll. Well... okay, maybe that's a little too pathetic. You know what I mean. Then again she's 24, two years ago she got married to her first real boyfriend she met when she was 17. She moved from her parents' home and in with her boyfriend. She doesn't have a clue how it feels to be... well... alone, on her own. I guess I have a word or two to say about that. I know it doesn't take a disaster or some tragedy to know and to appreciate life. But I think she has some sort of greenness ( I have to admit, I looked that up in the dictionary. We have a similar term in German ;-) ) for some aspects of life that started to make me go crazy at times. But I never showed her. Maybe I should have. Of course it wasn't all bad! Otherwise it wouldn't hurt so much now, as this friendship is coming to an end. She was there for me when my fiancé suddenly passed away last year, she helped me through tough times, she introduced me to western riding. We had a lot of fun!
I don't know what got into her, but she started to change. And she wouldn't talk to me. I tried my best. But at some point I don't want to run after her at any price.
Well, it's tragic, isn't it?! Thankfully I found out that there are still some people left that I can count on. But still... no happy ending :-( Current Mood: rejected
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August 12th, 2008
08:41 pm - Unworthy Feeling like a bunch of shit Sitting beside you Not being able to touch you Or just talk to you Like nothing had happened
But then nothing really happened, did it?! Just those little words I don't dare to write them down 'Cause that would make it real I know it's real
I wish I could stop it Just hit a button And it would end Like nothing had happened And the world would start turning again
"I told you" Words I don't want to hear 'Cause they hurt And they don't change a thing Don't change the way I feel
Here without you Can't make you love me I'm a butterfly when I'm in your hands You can turn the pavement into white sand You can make a moment a memory in a glance Not my words
There's a million people underneath the sun That can find a million more And never find the one Guess I'm one in a million Current Location: at home Current Mood: crushed Current Music: River - Robert Downey Jr.
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January 29th, 2008
09:25 pm - Wyoming Sequel pt. 1 Language: German Pairing: Ennis / Jack Genre: AU Summary: Taking place a few years after their decision to buy a ranch (take a look at my first story "Wyoming - Another time, another place"). Ennis and Jack are the proud owners of a ranch. Now they have to deal with the struggles of being fathers. Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this. Warning: I still don't know where all of this is leading... I wrote it a while back. Hope you like it.
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08:39 pm - Feeling Brokeback.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last for ever; I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood, For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H. Auden Current Mood: melancholy
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September 9th, 2007
09:24 pm - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 6
Language: German Pairing: Ennis / Jack Rating: none (so far) Genre: AU Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all. Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this. Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -) Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it). Feedback: yes, please! The final chapter!
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September 7th, 2007
06:54 pm - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 5
Language: German Pairing: Ennis / Jack Rating: none (so far) Genre: AU Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all. Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this. Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -) Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it). Feedback: yes, please!
Current Mood: blah
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10:52 am - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 4
Language: German Pairing: Ennis / Jack Rating: none (so far) Genre: AU Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all. Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this. Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -) Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it). Feedback: yes, please!
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10:49 am - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 3 Language: German Pairing: Ennis / Jack Rating: none (so far) Genre: AU Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all. Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this. Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -) Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it). Feedback: If you want me to continue ;)
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10:47 am - Wyoming - Another time, another place, pt. 2 Language: German Pairing: Ennis / Jack Rating: none (so far) Genre: AU Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all. Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this. Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -) Has been posted on a German gay stories site a while ago (if someone recognizes it). Feedback: If you want me to continue ;)
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September 2nd, 2007
11:52 pm - WYOMING – Another time, another place Language: German Pairing: Ennis / Jack Rating: none (so far) Genre: AU Summary: Ennis gets a roof tiling job, finds good friends and hopefully a good life after all. Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I do not make any money out of this. Warning: My first attempt to FanFic, be gentle with me. Unfortunately only available in German so far. In fact this little story is finished, but I will post not the entire thing just yet as I'd like to find out if it gets to you guys. Maybe it's worth translating : -) Feedback: If you want me to continue ;)
Emma war gerade mit dem Streichen des Türrahmens in der Küche fertig, der beim Einzug vor einer Woche etwas in Mitleidenschaft gezogen worden war. Sie trat einige Schritte zurück, um ihr Werk zu bewundern. Perfekt. Eierschalenfarben. Wie neu. Sie lächelte zufrieden. Sie hatte sich zu dieser doch eher ungeliebten Arbeit entschlossen, da sie diesmal ein nahezu perfektes Zuhause haben wollte. Sie wollte sich nicht in ein paar Jahren immer noch über die Macke im Rahmen ärgern. Neue Stadt, neues Haus. Neues Leben? Ja, vielleicht auch das.
Current Location: desk at home Current Mood: groggy Current Music: Je t'aime... moi non plus
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